not alone.

Open your eyes. You are not the only student in this classroom. You are not the only one who can't figure it out. You are not the only one who feels like there could be something more. You are not the only person in this life.

Because: the girl across the hall is struggling with homework, too. the guy sitting next to you can't focus on school because his family is splitting up. the odd girl that answers the questions wrong is from a different country and struggles understanding English. the two whispering kids at the back of the class seem so put-together, but are just hiding the hurt that comes from a terrible home life and a fighting family. the autistic guy in class that raises his hand every two seconds and disrupts the teacher is hoping for a fighting chance at real friendship; everyone averts their eyes when he walks by, but he is looking, searching, wanting someone to be real with him. the pretty girl with an array of different colored highlighters is hiding her worsening grades and her disinterested boyfriend. He says he's in love, but his actions speak otherwise.

This goes for real life too: because that homeless guy on the street corner is struggling with his life just as much as the corporate worker can't keep his life together at home. The two teenagers who just broke up a 3-year relationship are as devastated as the wife who just divorced her disinterested husband. They never thought this would happen to them. They just wanted someone to tell them that it's gonna be okay. "This wasn't supposed to happen to me."

Every brokenhearted person that rub shoulders with you today needs hope. Every seemingly happy CEO, every quiet book nerd, every ragged homeless man, every devastated teenage girl, every one you meet: tell them the story of hope. Smile, give a word of love, pray to the Creator that formed their heart, and then continue on your way. Spread that hope everywhere you go.

Don't fall into the rhythm: the quiet, repressive, orderly machine that every other American gets stuck in every day. Don't fall into the hopeless routine. Start anew. spread hope.

spread hope.

spread love.

There's a fight to be won
for the love you find at home
Work to be done
Before you rest your weary bones

I'm finding peace don't come
to everyone I know
So I will love in this life
Until I finally have to go.

Said I will love in this life,
Until I finally have to go.

(Run River North. "Growing Up.")

whirlwind.

it goes so fast. I thought I just updated this blog a few days ago, but it's almost been a month. I don't know why time goes so fast. and I don't know why life marches on, even when I request that it go slower.

it doesn't listen to me. life doesn't, that is. I constantly tell it to shape up. I constantly ask it to be untouched by sadness. I constantly tell it to look fine, to look alright, to not attract unwanted attention. I constantly ask that life stop pushing me so hard and let me be.

but you see, that means I've forgotten something important. it means that I forgot what life is meant for. it is meant as a testimony, and I forgot that. I forgot that my fumbled words and my imperfect actions give glory to someone who works through me in perfect grace. that when I stumble and fall and cry buckets of tears and admit that I'm not fine, that only then can my Father show His mercy.

here is the irony: I ask that my days be easy and quiet. and then I complain that I am bored. I ask that my words be perfect and smooth. And then I complain that I feel fake. I ask that my life be untouched by sadness. and then I complain that I feel untouched by happiness.

because this is life. and living, as God intended it to be, is sometimes unattractively noticeable; sometimes there are burdens and sadness; sometimes there are torrents of imperfect words and torrents of sadness. Because it is these precious moments that give way to moments of beauty, of peace, of gentleness and wisdom.

God makes us a vessel. He gently opens us up, to let His love show a little. And we scream and cry and plug up all the holes; we cover our face and close up our vessel. Don't let anyone see. Don't let anyone see that there is an imperfect being inhabited by a perfect God.

and there is pride. inability to let God show through our weaknesses. God requests this of you, that you let Him inside to change the dark, unknown parts of your soul that no man has ever seen. That you let Him within so that He may shine through.

You cannot yield fruit if you aren't willing to grow a little. to be pruned, tended, gardened. to be watched over by Someone who mended your very soul into existence. come to Him as a child would come: humble, trustful, expectant.

humble.

trustful.

expectant.

you are not alone; you are watched over by God. let Him work through your imperfections.